WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
