Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
