Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
