I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
