Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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