I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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