And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize