yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
