I can tuck mytits in my pants
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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