So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize