weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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