I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
