We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
