She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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