DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
