He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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