32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
