he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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