I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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