She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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