He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
