i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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