A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so let's talk penis.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
