I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
