Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
