dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
