He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
