Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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