I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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