My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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