There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
