Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
