you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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