please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
