You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
