just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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