it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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