He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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