i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
