Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
