the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
