6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That's intense
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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