Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
