Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
