I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need moral support for this bender
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
