Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
