The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
