Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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