I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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