Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
