You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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