I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
