i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
