she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
