These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
